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Sexy Halloween Fun

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Happy Halloween! If you are in the mood for something a little more sexy and playful, than spooky and gory you have come to the right place! For most people today is all about popping something tasty in your mouth and having fun, and this is behavior that we fully endorse! So we’ve gathered some spooky sexy memes and jokes from around the web you can send your sweetie while you taste test those treats.

My girlfriend and I where going to a Halloween party last year and my girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but boots. I asked her “What are you supposed to be?” She said, “Puss in boots.” So I went into the kitchen and put a potato on my penis. When I came back out, she asked me, “What are you supposed to be?” I said, “If you can be puss in boots, then I can be a dictator…”

A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver can’t stop staring at her. So she asks him why is he staring and he answers, “I have a question I need to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.” The nun replies, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you have had a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.” The cab driver hesitates for a moment and then says, “Well it’s like this; I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me.” The nun replies, “Ok well, let’s see what we can do about that, shall we. There are two conditions though – firstly you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic.” The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, yes! I am single and I’m Catholic too!” The nun then says, “Ok then, pull into the next alley.” The cab driver does so and the nun duly goes ahead and fulfills his fantasy. They get back on the road and start driving again, but the cab driver soon starts to cry. The nun sees this and asks him, “My dear child, pray tell, why are you crying?” The cab driver says, “You must forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you – I must confess that I’m married and I’m also Jewish.” The nun laughs and says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”

This next one is a bit NSFW. So if you’re stuck at work this Halloween you may want to wait until you’re on break to scroll past this point!

Happy haunting, or humping whichever trick or treat you’re up to!

 

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Dating VS Marriage

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Dating and marriage are two distinct stages in a romantic relationship that come with their own set of dynamics and expectations, especially when it comes to the bedroom. In this essay, I will explore the differences between dating and marriage in terms of intimacy, communication, and expectations in the bedroom.

Dating is typically a more casual and exploratory stage where individuals are getting to know each other on a deeper level. Intimacy in dating can range from flirtation and teasing to physical affection and sexual exploration. The bedroom dynamics in dating are often characterized by excitement, passion, and the thrill of discovering each other’s desires and preferences.

In dating, partners may be more focused on the physical aspects of intimacy, such as attraction, chemistry, and sexual compatibility. Communication in the bedroom during the dating stage may be more lighthearted, playful, and spontaneous as partners explore their boundaries and comfort levels with each other.

On the other hand, marriage is a deeper commitment that involves a more significant emotional, physical, and spiritual connection between partners. Intimacy in marriage goes beyond the physical aspects and encompasses emotional closeness, trust, and understanding. The bedroom dynamics in marriage are often characterized by a sense of comfort, security, and a deep emotional bond between partners.

In marriage, partners may focus more on the emotional and relational aspects of intimacy, such as trust, communication, and mutual fulfillment. Communication in the bedroom during marriage may be more open, vulnerable, and honest as partners navigate the challenges and joys of a long-term partnership.

Expectations in the bedroom also differ between dating and marriage. In dating, partners may have fewer expectations and may be more focused on exploring and enjoying the moment. In marriage, partners may have higher expectations for intimacy, communication, and satisfaction in the bedroom as they navigate the complexities of a long-term commitment.

In conclusion, dating and marriage come with their own unique dynamics, expectations, and challenges in the bedroom. While dating is more focused on exploration, passion, and physical attraction, marriage emphasizes emotional intimacy, trust, and communication in the bedroom. Both stages offer their own opportunities for growth, fulfillment, and connection between partners as they navigate the intricacies of building a strong and lasting relationship.

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Kinky questions to ask a new sex partner

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When delving into new sexual experiences with a new partner, it’s important to establish open communication and boundaries. Asking kinky questions can help you both navigate your desires and fantasies comfortably. Here are some kinky questions you may consider asking a new sex partner:

1. Have you ever explored kink or BDSM activities before? What are your thoughts or experiences with it?
2. What are your specific turn-ons or fantasies that you’d like to explore with me?
3. Are there any particular acts or roles that you enjoy or are curious about trying in the bedroom?
4. How do you feel about incorporating toys or props into our sexual encounters?
5. Are you open to trying light bondage, restraints, or sensory play (such as blindfolds or feather ticklers)?
6. Do you have any hard limits or activities that you’re uncomfortable with during sex?
7. Would you be interested in exploring different power dynamics or role-playing scenarios?
8. How do you feel about incorporating elements of domination or submission into our sexual activities?
9. Have you ever tried impact play (such as spanking or flogging) before? Would you be interested in exploring it with me?
10. Are there any specific words or phrases that turn you on or that you find particularly arousing during sex?

Remember, it’s important to approach these questions with an open and non-judgmental attitude, and to always prioritize clear communication and mutual consent in any sexual exploration with a new partner. Enjoy exploring your desires and boundaries together!

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Masterbation Tips

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Masturbation is a natural and normal part of human sexuality. It can be a pleasurable and healthy way to explore your body, understand your sexual desires, and relieve stress. However, for many people, knowing how to masturbate effectively and enjoyably can be a learning experience. Here are some tips to help enhance your solo sexual experience:

1. Find a private and comfortable space: Creating a safe and comfortable environment is essential for a positive masturbation experience. Make sure you have privacy and won’t be interrupted, and consider dimming the lights, playing relaxing music, or using candles to set the mood.

2. Experiment with different techniques: There is no right or wrong way to masturbate, so don’t be afraid to explore different techniques to find what feels best for you. Try using different strokes, speeds, pressures, and motions to see what brings you the most pleasure.

3. Use lubrication: Using lubrication can enhance the sensations and make the experience more pleasurable. Experiment with different types of lubricants, such as water-based, silicone-based, or oil-based, to find what works best for you.

4. Explore your erogenous zones: Your body is full of sensitive and erogenous zones that can enhance your masturbation experience. Experiment with touching and stimulating different parts of your body, such as your nipples, inner thighs, and neck, to heighten pleasure.

5. Incorporate fantasy or erotic material: Engaging in sexual fantasies or using erotic material, such as porn, erotica, or sexting, can help enhance arousal and add excitement to your masturbation session. Just remember to use these resources in a healthy and mindful way.

6. Focus on breathing and relaxation: Pay attention to your breathing and try to relax your body during masturbation. Deep breathing can help you stay present and connected to your body, enhancing the pleasurable sensations.

7. Practice self-love and self-acceptance: Masturbation is a natural and healthy way to explore your sexuality and pleasure. Embrace your body, desires, and fantasies without judgment or shame, and remember that self-pleasure is a positive and empowering act.

Overall, masturbation is a personal and individual experience, so it’s important to explore and discover what feels best for you. By being open-minded, curious, and gentle with yourself, you can enhance your solo sexual experience and enjoy the many benefits that self-pleasure can offer.

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