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Branching your Bedroom Life into BDSM

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People are becoming much more willing to let their freak flag fly lately. In fact, when surveyed nearly twice as many women as men said “light bondage/kink” is what they want more of in the bedroom. If you’re thinking kink isn’t your thing you may be surprised to find out, you may already be incorporating BDSM play into the bedroom without realizing it. For instance, bringing a person to the edge of orgasm and stopping briefly to prolong things is a form of “orgasm denial” in BDSM.

Still Unsure?

Try watching a mainstream movie that dabbles in BDSM, before you go hit play, we do not mean “50 Shades of Grey.” Instead try a movie like Secretary from 2002 or Basic Instinct from the early 90’s. If the leg crossing scene gets your blood heated, you may be more into BDSM than you’ve realized. If movies are something you don’t often find time for try downloading the “Modern Love” podcast and listening in your downtime.

Unsure about your Partner?

If you already know you would like to start adding some kink to your sex life but are unsure about your partners feelings try having a shopping spree! Visit your neighborhood sex-toy store together or browse an online shop from the comfort of your own bed. You’ll see tons of BDSM toys that will spark your imagination. If you aren’t sure you want to spend money on toys you aren’t sure you will employ often consider going to a sexual workshop to get a feeling for what situations you and your partner could mutually and safely enjoy.

Modify your Intensity Level

Don’t feel pressured to dive all the way in. It’s okay to dip your toes into different types of BDSM and see what you enjoy the most. You don’t have to complicate things. Not sure if you’re into pain? Try some hair pulling, scratching, or even a spanking. Think you might enjoy bondage but not ready to spring for a full set of under the bed restraints or spreaders? Try repurposing a tie or scarf into quick and simple restraints. Just remember not to tie them to tightly. You can even try modifying your dirty talk to replace babe or love with “sir” or “madam.”

Take your time trying new things and keep the things that feel the best to you!

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Lactophilia

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Lactophilia, also known as lactosexuality or lactophilia, is a term used to describe a sexual attraction to breastfeeding or the breast milk of another person. It is a type of paraphilia, a sexual preference that involves the arousal or excitement that comes from the thought or act of breastfeeding or the consumption of breast milk.

People who are lactophiles may experience a range of sexual responses to breastfeeding, including arousal, excitement, and pleasure. Some individuals may also fantasize about breastfeeding or drinking breast milk as part of their sexual activities.

It’s important to note that lactophilia is not necessarily associated with any specific age, gender, or orientation. Anyone can develop a sexual interest in breastfeeding or breast milk, regardless of their own gender or sexual orientation.

Some people may find lactophilia to be a source of comfort and intimacy in their relationships, while others may view it as a taboo or unconventional practice. It’s important to respect the boundaries and preferences of all individuals involved in any sexual activity, including those related to lactophilia.

 

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The good and bad of threesomes

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The topic of threesomes! Let’s dive into the pros and cons of this intimate experience.

**Threesomes: Good**

1. **Excitement and Novelty**: Threesomes can bring a new level of excitement and thrill to a relationship, as it involves a new partner and a different dynamic.
2. **Increased Intimacy**: When done correctly, a threesome can create a sense of closeness and intimacy among the three individuals involved, as they work together to create a memorable experience.
3. **Exploration and Discovery**: Threesomes can be an opportunity for individuals to explore their desires, boundaries, and desires with each other, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners.
4. **Strengthened Bond**: A successful threesome can strengthen the bond between partners, as they work together to navigate the experience and communicate effectively.

**Threesomes: Bad**

1. **Emotional Complications**: Adding a third person to the mix can create emotional complications, such as feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or abandonment.
2. **Pressure and Stress**: The pressure to perform or impress the third person can lead to stress and anxiety, making it difficult to fully enjoy the experience.
3. **Risk of Disconnection**: A threesome can lead to disconnection from one’s primary partner if not handled carefully, as attention is divided between two people.
4. **Unrealistic Expectations**: Some people may have unrealistic expectations about what a threesome will be like, leading to disappointment or frustration when it doesn’t meet those expectations.
5. **Potential for Unhealthy Dynamics**: If not approached with clear boundaries and communication, a threesome can create unhealthy dynamics, such as exploitation or power imbalances.

Threesomes can be a positive and exciting experience when approached with open communication, trust, and respect among all parties involved. However, they can also lead to negative consequences if not handled carefully. It’s essential to consider the potential risks and benefits before engaging in a threesome, ensuring that all parties are comfortable and willing participants.

 

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What is Impact play?

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Impact play is a type of BDSM activity that involves intentionally causing physical impact or pain to the body, typically using various tools or techniques. It can be a highly subjective and personal experience, and its effects can vary greatly depending on the individual’s preferences, boundaries, and physical tolerance.

Types of impact play:

1. Flogging: Using a whip, flogger, or other implements to strike the body with controlled force.
2. Paddling: Using a paddle to strike the buttocks or other areas of the body.
3. Spanking: Using the hand or a paddle to strike the buttocks.
4. Thumping: Using the hands or a blunt object to strike the body.
5. Thigh slapping: Using the hands or a flat object to slap the thighs.
6. Caning: Using a caning tool to strike the body with long, thin rods.
7. Muzzle play: Using a muzzle or gag to restrict speech and breathing while experiencing impact play.

Benefits of impact play:

1. Intimacy and trust: Impact play can create a sense of closeness and intimacy between partners, as it requires communication, trust, and vulnerability.
2. Sensory stimulation: Impact play can stimulate the senses, particularly the skin and nervous system, which can be pleasurable for some individuals.
3. Release of tension: Impact play can provide an intense release of tension and stress, similar to other forms of exercise or massage therapy.

Risks and considerations:

1. Injury: Impact play can cause physical harm, including bruising, cuts, or soft tissue damage, if not performed carefully and with proper precautions.
2. Boundary violations: It is essential to respect each partner’s boundaries and consent before engaging in impact play, as it can be traumatic if done without permission.
3. Emotional distress: Impact play can evoke strong emotions, such as fear, anxiety, or sadness, especially if done without proper preparation or aftercare.

Precautions and guidelines:

1. Establish clear communication: Discuss boundaries, desires, and limits with your partner before engaging in impact play.
2. Use proper equipment: Choose equipment that is safe and suitable for the activity, such as using a soft flogger instead of a heavy one.
3. Warm up and cool down: Gradually increase intensity and volume during impact play to avoid injury or discomfort.
4. Provide aftercare: Offer gentle touch, reassurance, and attention after impact play to help alleviate any discomfort or emotional distress.
5. Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care and take breaks during intense activities to avoid burnout or exhaustion.

Remember that impact play is a highly personal and subjective experience. It’s crucial to prioritize safety, consent, and open communication to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience for all parties involved.

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